Nobody's Home
by BluSkye425
Summary: SEQUEL To Beautiful Goodbye! Jesse's gone, and Suze can't handle it anymore, so she goes to Big Sur and jumps. Will Jesse, Paul, or her dad be able to save her? Or is death the only way for the two to be reunited? RR!


KawaiiQuerida-chan: So here I am with the second part in my songfic trilogy. After this, it's only the happy ending's left! Hey, that's kinda funny, considering Avril wrote this song, Nobody's home, and also wrote a song called My Happy Ending! LOL. Anyways, same goes for this chappy as the last. I get 10 reviews—I update. A month passes—I update. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own _Nobody's Home _or Mediator. So don't sue me.

_I couldn't tell you_  
_Why she felt that way  
__She felt it everyday  
__And I couldn't help her  
__I just watched her make  
__The same mistakes again_

I pulled up at The Point, stepped out of the car, and went as close to the edge of the cliff as I dared. Which was pretty close, considering that it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

I breathed in the salty air of the ocean and felt the breeze on my cheek. My thoughts turned to the past—the only place I was every happy. My thoughts turned to _him_, my only love. The one I still dreamt about, the one that was every shimmer for a split second—the one who'd been gone for a year.

The tears came.

"Jesse," I sobbed out, daring to say his name.

The last time I was at The Point was with Jesse, but it wasn't for what most teenagers went there for—a make-out session. It was to kill a murderer and then decide not to.

I remembered how mad Jesse had been when he realized that I'd summoned the RLS Angels to kill Michael. I remembered how the tears had welled up in my eyes as he scolded me, completely infuriated. Soon after I realized how much I loved him.

I moved away a bit from the edge and determinately towards a regular-looking area. But it wasn't so regular, not really. It was there that I'd collapsed after the females of the RLS Angels kicked my butt. I collapsed at the spot again.

_What's wrong what's wrong now  
__Too many too many problems  
__Don't know where she belongs  
__Where she belongs_

It was just too much! I went through the motions of a regular teenage girl, and that was hard enough. Then I had to help some dumb ghost move on to the next state of consciousness.

Whoever was in charge—God, Buddha, or a bunch of guys in robes—had a seriously messed-up mind. How did they expect me to juggle school, mediating, and memories of _him_ everywhere I turned? It wasn't fair!

I worked my butt off doing my duty and I couldn't even have something as simple as the love of my life. So what if he was a ghost? He made me happy, and that was all that mattered.

I buried my head in my hands and sobbed furiously.

_She wants to go home  
__But nobody's home  
__That's where she lies  
__Broken inside  
__With no place to go  
__No place to go  
__To dry her eyes  
__Broken inside_

I hated the feeling of being empty inside. I hated having to pretend that I was all right when all I wanted to do was to run to my mother and sob in her arms.

But I definitely couldn't do that. Because then I would have to explain the whole mediator thing, and that was something I really didn't want to do.

I sat still for a good while, letting the sea breeze dry my tears away. When I was sure that it was impossible to tell I had been crying, I stood up, dusted myself off, and headed home.

NOT.

I didn't have a home anymore. My home was where Jesse was, and Jesse was gone. I was homeless, cursed to roam the earth as such.

_Open your eyes  
__And look outside  
__Find the reasons why  
__You've been rejected  
__And now you can't find  
__What you've left behind_

As I headed towards my house, I passed Adam and CeeCee in the VW Bug, and a slight pang went through me. After Jesse was gone, I didn't care to even try to preserve my friendships. Gina, CeeCee and Adam…none of them had heard a word from me in almost a year.

My mom was really very disappointed in me, because I was even worse than I had been in New York. I was a senior, and all I did was go to school or work, come home go up to my room, mediate (nobody knew that part), and stay in my room except for meals.

_Be strong be strong now  
__Too many too many problems  
__Don't know where she belongs  
__Where she belongs_

But what did it matter? What was done in High school wouldn't mean anything in the real world, and dating was pointless because I knew I'd never fall in love. And what was the point of dating if you couldn't fall in love?

"Susannah!" my mother's voice summoned me, and I went to her obediently. "What's the meaning of this?" she asked as she pointed to my report card.

I shrugged nonchalantly. So I got a D in English Lit. Whoop-de-freakin-doo.

"Don't shrug your shoulders at me, Susannah Elizabeth Simon! What is wrong with you? You've been in a ditch for a year now, and I'm just getting sick of it!"

I was angry then. "Too bad! I don't have time to worry about you, I have enough crap to deal with as it is!"

"What crap? All you do is sit around!"

When I'm not risking my life to mediate.

"Shows how much you notice! You're too busy with Andy, Jake, Brad, and Doc to even notice me at all! I don't even see why you're making such a—" I broke off with a growl, and headed back towards the car.

"Don't turn your back on my, young lady! Get back here, I'm not fini—"

Her voice disappeared as the engine started.

_She wants to go home  
__But nobody's home  
__That's where she lies  
__Broken inside  
__With no place to go  
__No place to go  
__To dry her eyes  
__Broken inside_

I got to where I could either go to the Point or higher up on Big Sur. I chose higher up.

It was going to end—It had to end. The pain was just unbearable! I couldn't face any of it any longer. It hurt too much. Every breath was just too much.

I needed to see Jesse, and the only way that possibly could happen was if I were dead.

The storm had come quickly, and my windshield wipers went back and forth furiously. Northern California doesn't get many storms, but when we do, they hit us hard.

As soon as I left the safety of my car, I was completely soaked. It was fairly chilly also, so I started to shiver.

This part of Big Sur was used so tourists would be able to look out way over the ocean and see the gulls, boats, maybe a fish or something.

Pulling a Rose, I climbed over the rail, which was slippy. I knew that even if I changed my mind about what I was doing it wouldn't matter. I would fall purposely or I would slip—there was no going back.

And that was fine with me.

_Her feelings she hides  
__Her dreams she can't find  
__She's losing her mind  
__She's falling behind  
__She can't find her place  
__She's losing her faith  
__She's falling from grace  
__She's all over the place, yeah_

I'd kept everything up inside, and it was time to let it out. My dreams of Jesse coming back would never happen, I knew, so life was pointless.

You would think that my thoughts before letting go were serious. That either I was fighting a battle with myself about what I was doing or so determined and set to let go. It was neither. I was too numb both physically (from the rain) and emotionally (from losing Jesse) that I wasn't thinking about it, really. I was thinking of how this reminded me of a _Charmed_ episode when Leo fell from grace. I supposed I would too.

_She wants to go home  
__But nobody's home  
__That's where she lies  
__Broken inside  
__With no place to go  
__No place to go  
__To dry her eyes  
__Broken inside_

I closed my eyes, took one last breath of air, and let go.

_She's lost inside lost inside oh oh  
__She's lost inside lose inside oh oh  
__Oh…_

KawaiiQuerida-chan: Note: I made up Susannah's middle name cuz I wasn't sure if Meg Cabot gave her one and I didn't feel like reading all the books real fast to find out. So…how did you like it? I sure hope so. Umm…'slippy' is slang in this area. It obviously means slippery. I like slippy better…besides, it's less to type! I hope you review ASAP! Get your friends to read, cuz the quicker I get reviews, the quicker I'll update! And you all want the happy ending soon, right? I did, after all, leave one heck of a cliffy! Who will save her? Her dad? Jesse? Paul? Or will she be saved at all? I said a J+S happy ending, but if their both dead, they can be together, and that can presumably be a happy ending—oh crap, I've said much too much! R+R!

Love, KawaiiQuerida-chan!


End file.
